so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
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I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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