wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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