I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize