Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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