i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize