I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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