I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize