I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize