Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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