Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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