I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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