using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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