it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
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The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
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Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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