you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
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Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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