I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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