We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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