he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize