so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize