My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize