her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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