he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize