omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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