Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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