ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize