my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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