He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
