My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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