so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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