i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
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You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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