She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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