There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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