all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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