The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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