my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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