no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize