I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize