please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
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He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
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I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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