When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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