break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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