I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
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I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
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I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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