i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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