There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Can you bring me the toilet please
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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