Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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