dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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