But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize