is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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