Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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