if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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