I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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