Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
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you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
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I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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