Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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