well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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